So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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