You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
