Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
