seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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