Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
