he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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