i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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