my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
