I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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