he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
