Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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