As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Small penises have feelings too.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We are two peas in an std pod
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
