Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
