Church boner. Awkwardddd
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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