Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
