I wish my penis had an off switch
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
