Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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