dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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