I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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