CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
