remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
