I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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