Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
