yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Only a mothe r could love this liver
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
