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So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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