This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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