I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
