Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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