so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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