i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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