Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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