i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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