I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
