i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
