the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
