i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
