When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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