my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
