the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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