dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
