Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
