his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
