What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
