Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I won't apologize to a one balled man
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
