Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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