'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
