I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
