Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
