Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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