Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
