doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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