I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
