And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
