yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
