i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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