i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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