i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
